JB McDonald (jennabreen) wrote in torquere_social,
JB McDonald

Hello hello!

I'm hosting today over here, and it's terribly exciting! But first things first: totally off-topic stuff!

Like many good m/m erotic romance writers, I got my start in comic books. (Yeah, I mostly made that up. But I did get my start in comics, and there's a lot of slash in that fandom. *laughs*) Seriously, how could you read comics and not head toward m/m stuff? LOOK AT WHAT THEY WEAR. No self-respecting straight man wears spandex! Or dresses his first (and second) sidekicks in UNDERWEAR. (*eyes Batman*) Obviously, that was a ploy to distract their enemies while Bats kicked butt! And it worked! Either their enemies were too busy staring to hit back, or too busy laughing. I'm thinking laughing = straight man. So... the Joker is the only straight man in all of DC.

...actually, that explains so much. He doesn't even wear spandex! My point is made.

Anyway, like any good comic fan, I went to the midnight showing of Wolverine last night. I enjoyed it emmensely. It wasn't a story so much as a series of events that were bright and shiny. Oh, and lots of naked and half-naked Hugh Jackman. You can't go wrong there.

So, first, I'm going to summarize Wolverine.

Wolverine is a complex plot about a ten year old boy who knows it's his duty and responsibility to be the best screaming-at-the-sky person ever, and so puts himself in situations where he can practice. He starts down his life path at about ten, and gives his very first bellow then. It improves with age.

When he's approximately several hundred years old (but looking quite good for his age!) he starts to realize that his half-brother needs dental work. Victor refuses, and it's a good thing, too. The teeth look pretty damn cool, even if they encourage him to run on all fours like a dog. And up the sides of buildings. JUST like a dog. My dog does that a lot. He also does his best not to use his claws, as seen by the running up the building, because claws would be pulling himself up, and that's not what he's doing.

When Victor refuses to get dental work, they're thrown in jail, where they're then found by The Government. The Government puts together a crack team including


Oh, Wade. I love you so. With your wise cracking and pretty boy looks, even if you sound much more sane on the big screen than you do in my head. And look at the things you can do with your swords! (Not like that! Getcher mind outta the gutter! *grins*)

Jealous of the fact that Wade is so freakin' awesome, the other mutants train in kung fu. And then they are all KUNG FU NINJA MUTANTS! I'm pretty sure of this, due to all the flipping. That, or The Government has a serious kink for gymnasts, and only gets mutants that can look pretty in motion.

So they all start the search for adamantium, but when they discover that Wade used it in his swords so he could cut through bullets and has been holding out on them, combined with the fact that Wade keeps hitting on Wolvie, Wolvie throws a hissy fit and leaves. I'm pretty sure that's what happened.

Wolvie finds a new job, a new name, and a pretty girl. Awwwwwwww. I would say he's repressing his intense attraction to Wade, but Wolvie is much too straight for that. Possibly he's repressing the times Wade hit on him, ohyes. And he walks around without a shirt, which must have been quite nipply in the Canadian Rockies, but millions of fangirls kept him warm just by their lustful thoughts. I know I did my part. :D

After a while, Wolvie and Victor have a falling out. I'm pretty sure it has to do with a big misunderstanding, and possibly a little death. So Wolvie goes back to The Government to have adamantium put back in, where we learn that--WADE IS DEAD. Oh, Bea, say it ain't so! Overwrought with sadness, Wolvie breaks out of the containment unit (bare assed naked, thank you lord) and goes on a trip to Ma and Pa Kent's farm for some clothes and food. Dressed and motorcycled, he goes on a trip to find Wade! Along the way, he finds a lot of other people who made me flail with fangirlish glee. Also, Gambit. Who is not NEARLY as pretty as he is in the comic, but still okay. Also, he has Extra Abilities now, like apparently telekinesis to control his cards and he's also a KUNG FU NINJA MUTANT! I'm beginning to think it's a must in the mutant world. EVERYONE gets kung fu ninja training. You get ostracized if you don't.

After Gambit hits on Wolvie for a while (how could he resist?) he agrees to avenge Wade's death. After many more misunderstandings, Victor and Wolvie have a heart touching reunion, and Wolvie finds Wade. WHO HAS HAD HIS MOUTH SEWN SHUT. And been cross-bred with a Sentinel! Oh, the tragedy! Unable to bear living without the quips and wisecracking that made Wade so special, Wolvie tosses him into a nuclear reactor!

And then loses all his memories. Truly, theirs was a love of the ages.

...Yes, between one ambiguously-sexual man and one very straight man. THERE'S A LITTLE BIT OF SELF INSERTION HERE. SHUDDUP.

So, in a nutshell, I loved that movie. Oh, the shiny, cracktasticness of it all. *happy sigh*

But, really, I'm here to talk m/m romance! ...wait, I was! Ha! No, seriously. Check back here in a little bit and I'll have a slightly more on topic post up. Or just talk with me about Wolverine. And Wade Wilson. *grins*

By Degrees
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