My Characters and Me

Dealing with social media has been a learning experience. In many ways, I feel as wide-eyed as Phaedra in ‘A Symposium in Space’ (in Torquere’s ‘Theory of Love’ anthology), encountering an array of sophisticated technology she barely understands. I’m learning a little more each day, but I still feel quite wide-eyed. :) I’m doing my best to channel my confusion. All of my Torquere/Prizm characters; the princess in ‘Fairest’, Phaedra in ‘A Symposium in Space’, and Cinders in ‘At Her Service’ are all dealing with a similar confusion. They’re encountering something they’ve never experienced before; a curse, advanced technology, or magic at a ball. While grappling with these experiences, they face the challenge of a forbidden love/uneasy passion. I’m proud of my girls, for each of them faces her challenge. Each of them learns and grows, as she overcomes the obstacles in her way. The princess, Phaedra, and Cinders get stronger in the process. In the true romantic tradition, each of them gets the girl. :) I hope to channel some of my characters’ strength, as I pursue my career as a writer. In a way, stories are my forbidden love. Oh, lots of people enjoy a good story, but to devote a significant part of your life to them? To sacrifice a good portion of your life towards crafting them, which could have been spent securing a more materially stable career? It’s not a decision everyone understands. Writing at times has felt like a forbidden love to me. And yes, there is a girl I hope to get, by overcoming all of my challenges as a writer. That girl is myself. By creating stories, I chase after the woman I hope to become. I create her, by getting stronger. By learning more and more about writing process, using social media, and all aspects of my work, I become wiser. By overcoming the challenges which lay in my way, I’m getting closer and closer to that woman. It’s a quest, which may take my entire life. However, it’s a quest worth going on.
  • Current Music
    Everything, by Second Sun

Breathing New Life Into Old Ideas

I don’t remember every single fanfiction I ever came up with. Many of them were a part of roleplaying, involving dolls, action figures, or other people. However, I remember the first fanfiction I ever wrote quite vividly.

It was a class assigment for Cowell College at UCSC. We were reading ‘Death in Venice’, by Thomas Mann. The novel centers around an elderly German writer called Gustav von Aschenbach. The writer is having health problems, so he goes to vacation in Venice. Once he reaches his destination, Aschenbach falls in love with a beautiful boy, staying in the same hotel as him. The writer and the boy never speak, but the boy’s very presence rekindles the vitality in Aschenbach. He feels passion as he’s never felt before, right before he dies. Even as Aschenbach is taken aback, again and again by his beloved’s beauty, he sees the marks of mortality upon his object of desire. Tadzio, the boy he loves, doesn’t have long to live himself. The signs of poor health leave traces upon his beauty, rendering it all the more precious to Aschenbach. One gets the feeling that the writer and the boy are linked by death, as much as by love.

Our assignment was to write a journal from the perspective of Tadzio. I was already speculating quite a bit about ‘Death in Venice’. Aschenbach was stalked by a menacing red haired man in a nightmare, or a vision before he left Germany. This red haired man seems to reappear in a number of guises on the way to Venice and in Venice itself. It was speculated in class that the redhaired man might represent death itself.

The notion took fire in my imagination that this figure could be stalking Tadzio as well, if lover and beloved were bound by death, as well as romance. I’d been watching ‘Twin Peaks’, plus I’d just read Laura Palmer’s diary. It was only too easy to contemplate how the redhaired man could be similar to BOB in a bogeyman aspect to Tadzio.

I wrote my fanfiction, letting the redhaired man take on an even more menacing light. My professor loved it. I got my first praise ever for a fanfiction in that class.
It deepened my devotion not only to fanfiction, but to reinvention. I’d gotten a taste for linking story ideas, concepts, and character archetypes together, letting one breathe new life into another.

Very little is original. Almost every idea comes from somewhere, or was inspired by something else. The forms that they take on in our imagination can be quite unique. ‘Fairest’ was my attempt to breathe new life not only into old, cherished tales, but the concepts those tales embody. Beauty. A cursed sleep. All the things your reflection in the mirror can be. And of course, love.

What about you, dear reader? What stories or ideas have you breathed new life into via your imagination?
  • Current Music
    Twin Peaks Theme Song

KR Svich - Self Intro and Upcoming Piece

Hi, I’m new to Torquere and thought I’d take this opportunity to introduce myself, as well as my upcoming piece: an m/m romance with a dark fiction and crime backdrop.

My name is KR Svich. I’m twenty-four years old, of Croatian and Irish decent, born in Sydney, Australia. I graduated from the University of Sydney in 2014 and have since been living and working near Osaka, Japan.

I first studied abroad in Japan as a high school student and returned for another exchange trip during university. My affinity with and passion for Japan has inspired much of my writing to be based in a Japanese and/or Asian setting.

My upcoming short story, ‘Lilium’, is not exception to this, with the plot centering on Sheng-Li, the orphaned son of a North Korean defector, and Ren, a Japanese gangster.

I’ve included a short blurb as well as some character illustrations below. Recently I’ve been trying hard to improve my drawing skills, albeit the only style I seem to be capable of is a Japanese comic style.

In any case, I always find myself wishing I could create more detailed visual representations of my characters to match the words of their stories. It’s a working progress, but I’ll add the current character illustrations of the two main characters to go with the blurb.

I’m really excited to become a part of this community and hope I can interest you in reading my work once in becomes available to purchase.


Sheng-Li lives in poverty with his mother in rural northeastern China after she smuggles him as an infant across the North Korean border. They live in relative peace until one day, an unfortunate incident forces a ten-year-old Sheng-Li to escape alone to Beijing.

After nearly starving to death on the street he is picked up by Jin Huang, one of the city’s most notorious drug lords, who offers him work in exchange for food and a place to sleep.

Sheng-Li grows up in this underworld, learning violence as his sole outlet. That is until shorty after his twentieth birthday, when he meets Ren. The two are assigned to be partners in a heroin smuggling operation into Japan, but eventually become caught up in a physical relationship.

As the operation progresses and they continue to see each other on the side, it seems there will be only trouble waiting at the end.

Stories: A Lifelong Romance

What is it about books, which keeps us coming back for more? I remember a cartoon, playing on TV, when I was a little girl. An animated cat urged the audience to read, because “reading is a trip!”

How right he was. Reading was a trip, not only to far away places, but to places, which didn’t exist, except on the printed page. I’ve been in different times and different universes, transported away, as I read. I’ve seen the world through completely different eyes, as I’ve gotten into trouble, fallen in love, and lived the lives of a million fictional characters. Perhaps more than that. The vacations were so wonderful, I never wanted them to stop. Too often, I heard the criticism that readers never truly lived. Readers avoided living, by hiding behind their books. I was living, learning, and loving a rich life I would never have discovered, if I hadn’t read, read, and read some more. Reading was a full scale love affair for me. Stories in particular grabbed my attention, whether they were histories, herstories, or fictional stories. I started seeing patterns within the stories, a connective web of challenges, emotions, and truths, which ran with many of the best stories. The patterns fascinated me. I wanted to contribute to them, add to them.

Is it any wonder I chose to be a writer? It’s a very difficult career. Fortunately, I had people willing to support me with some of the material practicalities in my life. This freed up more time for writing and creating. I began at a time, when it was almost impossible to make it as a writer. I struggled to create the perfect opening sentence, which wouldn’t send my manuscript straight to the trashbin at a glance.

The world changed. More opportunities were opening up, as electronic media opened up doors, which had previously been closed. Shy as a person testing the waters of a turbulent pool, I started to peek behind doors. was lying behind one of them. Unsure of myself, I decided to try and write a story for their ‘Rainbows Come in All Colors’ anthology. It was a story I’d written, which had been rejected by an anthology. It was too short for Prizm, but I decided to rewrite it, flesh it out, and expand it for ‘Rainbows Come in All Colors’. The title unwent several changes, before I settled on ‘Fairest’. The changes I made drew me in, as characters emerged, whom I hadn’t really thought about. My heroine got stronger, plus her mentor developed as a fully fledged personality. I worked, revised, and finally had a manuscript ready to submit. It was a difficult time, since my family was having health problems at the time, but I forced myself to concentrate. Finally, I sent it in, not sure what to expect.

My delight, when ‘Fairest’ was accepted is beyond words. I squealed and started crying, dancing around the room, when I saw Kristi’s acceptance note in my inbox. I danced around, hugged myself, and checked the message, to make sure I hadn’t read it wrong. No, it was still there. I’d been accepted!

My world changed again, as I realized I need to learn and use a lot of electronic media around me, such as Facebook, Twitter, and blogs. It’s been a challenge, but it’s been a fun challenge. I’m pleased with the results, as well as the proud author of two blogs; The Cauldron of Eternal Inspiration at and (Yes, they are different blogs, even though they have similar names. The inspiration will be slightly different at one place than at the other. :)) I’ve gotten to connect with a lot of different people, every single day, because of these mediums. Hopefully, some of them will be potential readers. For as I overcome one challenge, I’m faced with another. How do I find the people, who’ll love my work? How will they find me?

It’s a difficult, but exciting task. Hopefully, you’ll be among those, who’ll enjoy my book. Hopefully, I’ll be able to share some of the joy so many writers have given me with my own readers. Yes, I want to make money, of course. Yes, I want to be successfully. However, if I can touch one person’s heart, sharing my love of story through my story, I will have justified my existence.
  • Current Mood
    relieved relieved

New Releases and Pre-orders!

This week's specials 20% off select titles by Alex Douglas and Voss Foster. Come check them out!

New Releases 12/2/15

Tivi's Dagger

by Alex Douglas

164 pages / 61000 words

ISBN: 978-1-944449-03-2


Buy Link:


The son and heir to a noble, Nedim Melchion has always been used to the more illicit pleasures in the high society of the Divine Kingdom of Lis, where laws are harsh and punishments harsher. So far his money and status have protected him from the grim realities of life…but now that the Protectors who police the land have a new leader, life has taken an unwelcome turn for the worse.

What could be more unfashionable for a noble in his prime than being forced to wear a pilgrim brown tunic while trudging through the dangerous mountain kingdom of Methar to pay homage to the Gods at an ancient shrine? Bound to serve by a Rite invoked by his devout older brother, Nedim can do nothing but count the footsteps until he can get back to his friends, his favorite tavern and his decadent ways. But as he and his traveling companions are guided through the land of the love gods by a handsome young monk, will Nedim find reason to change his ways?

Go Ask Alice

by Anne Key

Pages: 130 / Words: 35000

ISBN: 978-1-61040-997-1

Genre: LGBT, Urban Fantasy


Buy Link:


Big trouble. Her girlfriend, Cat, is dead, Alice just got out of the hospital, and everything is falling apart. The girls bought a bag of pills from a dealer and took them to Cat’s house to LARP their game, Underneath. The plan is to take one pill after another until the vampires come for them.

Problem is, the vampires didn’t come, the ambulance did.

As soon as she gets home, Alice runs away to attend Cat’s funeral and meets Leveret, Cat’s cousin, and that’s when she falls down the rabbit hole.

From shrinking and growing, from a monster in a hospital to a haunted toy store, from a nightclub filled with vampires to a Ren Faire with the most unnerving Mad Hatter and a game where ninja ballerinas beat people to death with sticks – Alice’s trip follows the heart of the Alice in Wonderland story, if not the letter.

On the way Alice has to make a number of decisions – is she sane? Is she dead? Is she willing to sacrifice everything for someone else or does she exercise self-preservation even if that means losing the girl she loves?

A Fool's War

by Voss Foster

Pages: 170 / Words: 51000

ISBN: 978-1-944449-04-9

Genre: LGBT, Urban Fantasy


Buy Link:


Marley is alive, and back with Toby and the rest of Zirkua Fantastic. But King Jester, the spirit of discord, still roams free, and his most fearsome creations, the Princes, have been loosed from their prisons. Now, human and immortal alike are disappearing, no sign of a body or a struggle to be found. More and more of them each day.

Now, it’s the duty of the last remnants of resistance to stand strong against the impossible, battle back the chaos before it ravages Earth. And all the while, a single question remains unanswered: can life ever return to normal after this?

Available for Pre-Order NOW

Your preordered books will be emailed to you directly on Tuesday evening before the release. Take advantage of getting your books first.

Coming 12/9/15

Combine, a Hammer novel

Sean Michael

Dom and sub couples Peter and Devon, and Max and Swan, are joining their lives together. After a week at The Briar Rose, they know there’s a lot of work to do, and they’re all committed to making sure what they have together succeeds.

Peter is the easygoing sub, while Max needs discipline and rules to keep from falling back into bad habits, so both Masters worry about making sure that each boy gets what he needs without making either sub feel neglected. It’s a balancing act that winds up taking some fancy footwork and the stress takes its toll.

As they learn to live and bond together, they discover things about each other that makes them fall more deeply in love, helping to cement their relationships.

Then an unexpected attack on Peter and Max threatens to upset the balance they’ve created, and Swan and Devon must join forces to give their subs what they need to push through and thrive. Will this stumbling block break apart their hard-won new family, or will it forge a stronger foursome?

Releasing 12/9/15 - Available Pre-Order:

Holiday Want Ads Anthology

edited by Deelylah Mullin with stories by Avery Duran, Shira Glassman, Emjay Haze, Kassandra Lea, Dale Cameron Lowry, G.O. Noce, Marie Piper, Rob Rosen, Angora Shade, Robin Watergrove

Whether reading Facebook ads, Craigslist, or the classified section of the local newspaper, there’s always something interesting available in the want ads... if you’re looking. In our Holiday Want Ads Anthology, Torquere Press offers ten beautiful stories of found love from ten talented authors.

In Compatible Gardens, Angora Shade weaves a tale about strangers on a city bus. Emjay Haze reveals a little Elfin Magic in her workplace romance. Little White Lights, Marie Piper’s feature, highlights illumination as a gift. In Wrapped Up, Kassandra Lea brings readers a holiday storm full of anxiety for both the storm and a question’s response. Avery Duran brings us a winter ball, complete with a Prince Charming in Matzo Ball. Eitan’s Chord, Shira Glassman’s offering, brings readers a visit from three Chanukah fairies creating magic from their passion. Thank You, Craig highlights fireworks and the versatility of a fire escape. G.O. Noce tells about a Boyfriend for Rent, and both parties in the agreement get a lot more than they bargained for. Looking for a Soft Center, by Robin Watergrove, shows how articulating one’s wants is much harder than simply writing an ad. And Dale Cameron Lowry gives readers an ex-Mormon hiring a bartender who helps with a party and builds a friendship—possibly more—with his employer in Mi Alma.

Enjoy Holiday Want Ads!

Releasing 12/9/15 - Available Pre-Order:

Before the New Moon Rises

by Cathy Hird


When Poseidon's ambition is thwarted (as told in Moon of the Goddess), Princess Thalassai expects to enjoy the luxury of peace in the valley of Ephyra. Instead, the Earthshaker's revenge strikes like forked lightning. He recruits Aphoron, disgraced prince of Ephyra, to set off an attack on her home city. The god then releases a monster shark to shut down trade and lays a sleeping spell on the four kings who hold sway in the lands claimed by the ancient goddess Eurynome.

With the king under Poseidon's spell, Thalassai struggles to maintain order in the city. Her fiancé Brizo sets sail to defeat the monster shark, but in the first encounter, the shark destroys the ship's rudder and oars. Her brother Melanion chases after Aphoron and uncovers the prince's plan to attack their city. As other Olympian gods who are angry with Poseidon are drawn into the fray, conflict threatens to engulf the lands of Greece. Will it spread to the mountain of the gods? Will the young leaders find a way to defeat the Earthshaker's plans and restore peace?

Releasing 12/9/15 - Available Pre-Order:

Coming 12/16/15

The Love Triangle Gone Wrong

by Rob Rosen

Gus is a theater security guard with dreams of becoming a cop. Steel is a local actor who one day wants to see his name up in lights. When a scene during a play turns murderous, the two team up, in more ways than one, to free the innocent and catch the guilty. In this hilarious romantic whodunit, you’ll never guess what, or who, is going to come next!

Releasing 12/16/15 - Available Pre-Order:

First Weekend

by Rhyann Harris

Daniel used to be married to Molly’s mother. When they divorced, Molly chose to stay with him rather than move on with her wicked mother. Now that she’s safely in college, Daniel thinks he can escape the naughty thoughts that have plagued him about the beautiful cheerleader he’s taken care of for the past six years.

When Molly comes home for a weekend, she’s armed with a stack of sexy movies for a “school project” and a plan to seduce her ex-stepfather. But soon, the seducer becomes the seduced, and Daniel gives Molly a weekend she’ll never forget.

Previously self-published work.

Releasing 12/16/15 - Available Pre-Order:

137 Owens Street

by DC Juris

Matthew is going insane. How else can he explain remembering things he doesn’t own or trips his wife never took? Not to mention the visions, and the phantom in the café. But when the man in the visions reaches out to him with an explanation, and the phantom from the café tracks him down, things start to make a little more sense.

Morgan is a devout Christian. He believes in God, Heaven, Hell, and the Bible. But his world spins out of control when his husband Matthew disappears and a mysterious man tells a tale outside the realm of reality. How can Morgan put his faith in something so far-fetched? And what will happen to Matthew if he doesn't?

Previously published by Breathless Press.

Releasing 12/16/15 - Available Pre-Order:

Coming 12/30/15

The Sky People Trilogy

by DC Juris

Warning: Story contains Twincest.

Driven by visions of his soul mate, Tristan, Jinsu steps through the portal to Earth, leaving all he has ever known behind.. Seven months into their fairy-tale romance, and Tristan and Jinsu couldn't be happier. But when Jinsu falls ill with a mysterious, lingering condition, everything changes. Jinsu's magic is dying and taking him with it. Suddenly the couple's desire to find a way back to Jinsu's home world is more than just a dream–it's a necessity. With Jinsu's time quickly running out, Tristan is forced to seek help from someone he'd hoped to never, ever lay eyes on again.

Tristan awakens on Torottu, but the portal wasn't meant for humans, and he's been near death since his arrival almost ten months ago. Even worse, Jinsu has no idea who Tristan is—the return trip through the portal erased his memory of Earth, of their relationship, or Tristan himself. Winning Jinsu's heart again won't be easy, especially if Kelan, Jinsu's twin, has anything to say about it. Kelan loves Jinsu, too, and he won't be put aside for Tristan. Not again. Tristan knows his only chance for happiness—and the only chance for Jinsu and Kelan—is to follow his heart. Previously published by Breathless Press.

Releasing 12/30/15 - Available Pre-Order:

Life is a Stevie Wonder Song

by V.L. Locey

Authors know that their muse is a fickle creature. Best-selling spy novelist Stephen Ramsey has been in a hate-hate relationship with his inspiration for months. When Stephen's publisher lays a legal ultimatum upon him, with a rapidly approaching deadline, he knows he must do something to kick-start his creativity or face the unemployment line. His daughter comes up with a possible answer: a summer camp for the creative soul. With nothing to lose, Stephen packs up his laptop, phonograph and beloved record albums and heads from Greenwich Village to the Catskill Mountains.

There, among a horde of college students attending for extra credits, is Declan Pomeroy, a photographer of fey creatures who is twenty-two years younger than Stephen. The woods are a magical place, and he quickly finds himself falling under the spell of the free-spirited photographer. Confusion wars with desire inside Stephen as he succumbs to the feelings welling up inside. But, sadly, summer camp always has to end. Can a man who has just found himself really leave the person that makes his heart sing?

Releasing 12/30/15 - Available Pre-Order:

Happy Thanksgiving!

For those of you who celebrate, Happy American Thanksgiving!

We're getting ready to go to family dinner over at an aunt's house.  It's a huge affair; 35 or 40 people are expected.  It's a giant party.  Here are some thoughts on pacing yourself for a large holiday meal:

  1. Fruit is your friend.  Avoid excess candy, since dinner is coming.

  2. Dogs are great disposals.  Our's is named Daisy and she's a new addition to the family.  Daisy likes eggs.  And kielbasi.  And croisants.

  3. Dogs get fat from eating too much human food.

  4. So do humans.  ~grin~

  5. Adults don't understand teenagers, according to my oldest nephew.

And that's all for today.  What's your best tip for pacing yourself?

Fast Drafting, The Inner Critic, and NaNo - Or, Why I Keep Writing Like Mad

Do you NaNo?  People that do, look at me with mild panic right about now because NOVEMBER 1ST IS IN TEN DAYS.  People that don't have this expression of mild pity, as though I were mad.

I don't have the heart to tell them, I am mad.  (We're all mad here?)

So.  What the heck is NaNo and why should we care?

Every year in the month of November, it's National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo.  The founders describe it as "a month of literary abandon."  The objective is simple:  Between November 1st at midnight to November 30th at eleven-fifty-nine on the clock, local time, write fifty thousand words.  50,000.  50k.  FIFTY THOUSAND.  Fiiiiiifffffty thousand.  Fi'ty thou'.

Fifty Thousand Words.  In the month of November.


Good question.

Here's why:  those of us who want to be writers, who want to write novels, do a lot of dreaming, talking, wishing, visioning, noodling, and trying.  We might have a draft stashed in a drawer somewhere, or languishing on a hard drive.  In the cloud.  In our heads.  (That's even worse, because then we carry it around with us where it can mock us. Daily. Everywhere.  Even in line at Starbucks.)  (Especially in line at Starbucks.)  So Chris Baty, the founder of NaNo, decided to egg a bunch of his friends on to put their keyboards where their mouths were, and write a draft of a novel.  The catch?

Do it in 30 days.

What he, and they, and now we Wrimos, have discovered is this: when you write that fast, you evade the internal censor.  The inner critic.  You know, that voice of your parent/fifth grade grammar teacher/friends/the guy in the line at Starbucks, all of whom say, "You're writing a novel?" and then proceed to tell you all the reasons why it won't work:  it's already been done; there are only seven plots, so there's no point because all the stories have been told already; you can't write because you're an _____; you flunked English class, who are you to think you're Hemingway; etc. etc. ad nauseum infinitum.

Do it anyway.

If I've learned anything doing NaNo, it's this:  when you're so busy writing, every day, to hit your word count, (which if you divide 50,000 by 30 is 1,667 words a day), you don't have time to listen to the dude in the line at Starbucks, or your grammar teacher, or anybody but the blessed voice of your novel.  Your critic will jump up and down in your mind, trying to tell you that you're a fool, but what the hell - throw him in the novel too!  (Then kill him in various and inventive ways, on paper.  Much cheaper than hiring a lawyer to keep yourself out of Sing Sing.)

At the end of November, you will find that you have something that never existed before:  the first draft of YOUR novel.  You have become, young padawan, a novelist.

And that, Dear Reader, is why I NaNo.  What about you?

Find me at NaNo:
A. Catherine Noon
2nd Year Municipal Liaison
Chicago Region (If you're near the Chicagoland, join us for our Kick-Off Party this Sunday, 10/25/2015, at Geek Bar!)
6 attemps | 4 wins
On NaNo as: a.catherine.noon
National Novel Writing Month:
NaNoWriMo | ChiWriMo | Blog | Facebook | Twitter

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”
- E.E. Cummings

The Persis Chronicles:
Book 2, EMERALD KEEP (NaNo 2012)
Book 3, SAPPHIRE DREAM, coming 2016 (NaNo 2010)
Other Fun Stuff:
Knoontime Knitting: Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Ravelry
Noon and Wilder links: Blog | Taurus and Taurus (NSFW) | Website | Facebook
The Writer Zen Garden: The Writers Retreat Blog | Forum | Facebook | Twitter | Meetup

Blog Post for Author Amanda Clay- New Release- Tearing Us Apart

Something Amanda Clay wanted you to read and know:

I've never been very good at keeping a diary (just like I'm terrible at
tweeting and NEVER update my blog). I have tried in the past, and have a
shelf of half-full blank books from various eras in my life. I go back and
look at them sometimes and the number one thing I take away is how much I
wish I'd been better at keeping a diary. I think it's easy to remember the
big moments, like moving cities after my parents' divorce, but so easy to
forget the small ones, like the series of dreams about going on tour with
Duran Duran that I apparently had in the autumn of '84. My favorite thing
about re-reading my high school diary, though, is watching myself come out.
April 26, 1983: Got new posters today, Culture Club, one of just Boy
George and a square record store promotional card thingy for Let's Dance.
David Bowie is so gorgeous. But I love Boy George and always will. I hung
the poster right by my pillow so I can see it when I sleep. I hung up my
Rocky Horror poster too. It's funny, but all the boys I like look like
Dear Teen Amanda: GET A CLUE
But no, not yet.
September 9, 1983: Found out something today. Danny and Darrin from my
Drama class are gay. They told me when they were talking about a guy,
Tommy, that I don't know. I'm perfectly ok with this. It's just
interesting. I'm honored they told me. I'm glad I know some gay people.
Dear Teen Amanda: Oh just you wait.
October 12, 1983: I got to be partners with Amber in drama class. She is
so talented, I've never met anyone who's as good as she is. And she has
these amazing dark eyes and can cry on cue. She's a Senior and is going to
drama school when she graduates. I know she's going to end up in the
movies. It was so wonderful to get to work with her.
Dear Teen Amanda: Getting warmer!!
Nov 1983-February 1984: All Amber all the time. She's talented and has
beautiful eyes. Really talented. Really beautiful. Did I mention her eyes?
March 3, 1984: I had the weirdest thought. I think I have a crush on Amber.
Dear Teen Amanda: DING DING DING DING! We have a winner!
Amber never knew of my love, and it would be a while before I could
actually call myself a lesbian, but I got there eventually. That kind of
young, awakening knowledge and love is such a magical time and place in a
person's life experience. I think that's why I like to write YA. There's
every kind of promise at that moment, every kind of opportunity.
The boys in "Tearing Us Apart" are in different places in this
awakening, and I really loved trying to bridge the gap between them, bring
them together to learn from each other and be together. It's not easy, any
of it, but it's almost always worthwhile.
That's what I was going for, anyway. You can let me know if I made it.